conversation with a pla soldier

me: hi, can you tell us how to get to the museum with the drawings in it? (aka the art museum in non-retarded chinese)
pla: um....are you chinese?
me: yes but i grew up abroad and my chinese is really bad i'm sorry.
pla: ....really?
me: yep.
pla: ok, i'll give you directions, but first, will you be my friend?

keep in mind that in chinese, "friend" can refer to both a platonic friend and boyfriend depending on the context. and his friend was snickering in the background.

me: what?
pla: can we be friends? you don't need to know chinese to answer, you can just say "yes" or "no" in english.
me: this is confusing.
adrienne: why are you confused, is he speaking shanghai-ese?
pla: can. we?
me: STRUGGLE.
pla: come on just give me your phone number. you can ask me all about china, and then you can tell me about the states. i just want a number.

apparently what mummy and papa wu told me about how "jiefang jun shushu" could help me out of any situation NO LONGER APPLIES.